By Zee:
Darling readers, buckle up because if you missed last night’s Nivea’s New Era of Body care re-launch…in the middle of Sandton City Mall, consider yourself blessed and highly favoured. I, unfortunately, was there – and let me tell you, it was giving more promotional chaos than premium skincare revival.
Let’s start at the beginning. The invite said “All Blue Glam”, but what it really meant was: come dressed in your most expensive winter couture and freeze for the brand. Because yes, the entire soirée was held in the Centre Court – an open space where the cold air sliced through chiffon and Brazilian blowouts like a bad breakup.
Influencers flew in like seagulls at a beach braai, and suddenly the canapé platters didn’t stand a chance. If hunger had a dress code, it would wear heels and have 15K followers. I spotted some micro-celebs elbowing each other for sushi like it was a Woolies Black Friday sale. Classy!
Now let’s address the incident of the night: A certain emerging songstress, Zee Nxumalo, who I’m told is “a big deal now” (girl, by whose standards?) decided to stomp over to our VIP chairs mid-performance with a full dance crew in tow. When politely told the space was occupied, sis served full-blown diva mode. No hello. No excuse me. Just pure “do-you-know-who-I-am?” energy. Yawn.
And just when we thought the drama was done, in sashes Khanya Mkhangisa-yes, Selimathunzi’s former flame-for a blink-and-you ‘ll-miss-it cameo. Rumour has it she’s a new mom, which explains the strategic grab-and-go of the goodie bag. We see you, girl. Priorities!
Hosting duties fell to Pamela Mtanga, who mistook the event for an Amway business seminar. The mic didn’t get a second to rest, and neither did our ears. It felt like she was shouting skincare secrets from a rooftop.
Now I must give flowers to Nonjabula Malunga, Nivea’s radiant brand manager, whose brief speech and quiet elegance almost saved the night. She spoke, smiled, and disappeared like a skincare fairy godmother. We stan a woman who knows her cue.
And what’s a Nivea party without… a noisy brass band? I’m not sure what they were playing or why they were there, but they were loud enough to wake the spirits in the mall’s foundation.
The finale? A literal exit exam. Before you could get your paws on the overstuffed Nivea goodie bags (worth the frostbite, honestly), some poor soul asked guests to fill out an “event feedback form.” I haven’t written that much since my last breakup text.
Final Sip from Zee’s Cup:
Aesthetic? 10/10.
Warmth? 2/10.
Diva sightings? Strong 8.
Food portions? Child’s play.
Influencer chaos? Off the charts.
Nivea, darling, the new era is sleek, sexy, and blue-tiful. But next time, give us walls. And maybe tell the performers that other people exist too. Until next time, keep your lotions close and your tea piping hot. @NewsSA_Online
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