By Zenoyise John:
Eastern Cape Premier Oscar Mabuyane walks away from the ibhoma, the sacred initiation hut, moments after ensuring his son’s safe return – a rare display of presence, protection, and cultural pride in a time when many fathers are painfully absent (Image: Facebook)
Let me be clear from the outset: I hold no brief for Premier Oscar Mabuyane. I am not a fan of his politics, nor do I admire his leadership record.
But today, I set that aside – because some acts transcend politics. When Mabuyane took leave from his official duties to be present for his sons’ traditional initiation, he did more than fulfil a cultural obligation. He led – not from a podium, but from within his family. In a country buckling under the weight of absent fathers, his choice was nothing short of revolutionary.
And when I saw that image of him emerging from his son’s burning ibhoma, I brimmed with pride.
Not because I support him politically – I don’t. But in that moment, he was not a Premier. He was a father. A Xhosa father. Present. Accountable. Steeped in tradition. Standing where so many others have chosen to vanish.
But instead of universal praise, he faced criticism. Yes – people criticised him for being ikhanatha to his own children.
As if presence was a scandal. As if standing beside your sons, during one of the most sacred rites of passage, is something to be mocked or questioned. To those critics, I say this: You are part of the problem. Because the pain that absent fathers have left behind is not theoretical. It lives in every child who waited on a birthday that no one remembered.
It lives in the school dropout who couldn’t afford transport or books while his father was buying bottles and tagging new cars online.
It lives in mothers forced to chase maintenance through broken legal systems, while the fathers live lavishly – paying for champagne, but not for their children.
Some men move on with their lives as if nothing happened – leaving behind children who never finished school, children who carry their last name but none of their love.
And we’re supposed to be quiet? Grateful when they show up for funerals with crocodile tears?
Not today. According to Statistics South Africa, over 60% of children in this country grow up without their biological fathers. That is one of the highest rates of father absenteeism in the world. The Eastern Cape knows this ache well.
It’s no accident people call it “Khumbulekhaya Province” — a place where children cry into the wind for fathers who left and never looked back.
Especially during the initiation season and university registration time, men disappear. Bacela lwabanentsente neemali zabo. We’ve normalised it. Excused it. Covered it up with culture, patriarchy, and denial.
So when a man does the opposite – when he shows up = he must be honoured. Loudly.
Premier Mabuyane could have sent someone else. Could have hidden behind his schedule. Could have left his sons to walk into manhood alone.
But he didn’t. He stood beside them – as ilhankatha, as protector, as teacher. And in doing so, he broke a cycle.
Asiyiqhelanga lento.His presence was a protest. His commitment was a sermon.
His love – a defiant legacy in a land of quiet betrayals. This is not about PR. It’s not spin. It’s substance.
So yes – I salute Premier Mabuyane. Not as a politician. Not as a party leader. But as a father who stood tall when it mattered. Crown him Father of the Year.Loudly. Unapologetically. Deservedly.
And to the men still running, still denying, still abandoning – may the silence of your children haunt your peace. Let this not be a moment. Let it be a turning point.
Zenoyise John is a writer and communications strategist. She writes in her personal capacity.
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